What Makes You Stronger
by ErinM
Summary: What if the Lex's experience had lasted a little longer? Would he still have made the choice? post-Lexmas, in the AU-world.


**Title**: What Makes You Stronger  
**Author**: Erin  
**Characters, Pairing**: Lex, Martha, Jonathan, Alex, Lily and Clark (mention of Lionel, Mom and Lana)  
**Rating**: PG  
**Summary**: What if the Lex's experience had lasted a little longer? Would he still have made the choice?  
**Warning**: post-_Lexmas_, in the AU-world. Prompt #34: "**Because of what you are. And more than that, what you might yet become.**" John Riegert (_The Prophecy IV_, 2005)  
**Disclaimer**: The original characters of _Smallville_ belong to DC, the WB/CW and their respective actors. The OCs are mine.

Lex had finally stopped crying – the nurse had tried to pull him out of the room, but he had refused to let go of Lana. He knew she was gone, but the moment her hand left his, he'd have to face reality. Another nurse came by to check on him... something about him seeing Lily.

Lily. She'd never see Lana again. She'd grow up never knowing her mother. Sure, everyone would tell her stories, but she'd never know. Lex remembered not having his other around, but he also was old enough to remember the color of her hair and the feel of her arms wrapped around him.

The nurse insisted Lex leave the room and was physically pushing him away from the bed. She got him into the hallway, but all he could do was stare at the wall.

"Lex!" He turned toward the voice and saw Martha Kent hurrying to his side, looking rather frazzled. He didn't turn away, but as his eyes drew toward the floor, Martha knew. He didn't move as she reached his side and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Lex... I don't know..." she said quietly as the tears began to form.

"Where's Alex?" Lex asked, suddenly realizing that he had no idea where his son was.

"He's at the house with Clark and Jonathan... What happened?" she asked, not wanting to look into the room.

"I have to talk to... how can I-" Lex looked down to Martha and she saw a child. "How do I tell my boy his mother is gone?" he asked quietly and felt his legs give out. Martha pulled him over to a nearby chair and held onto him as he broke down again.

"Don't worry, Lex. You won't be alone." Together, they sat in the hall and grieved for Lana.

As time passed, Lex finally had nothing left to give and tried to compose himself. "Well, if this was seven years go, people'd be staring..." Martha said, thinking back to a time before Lex had become an average Joe. Lex breathed a laugh and wiped at his eyes as he stood up. His balance was still a little off, and Martha caught his arm.

"Come, Martha. There's someone I want you to meet." She smiled and nodded, letting Lex lead her down the hall. Both of them were fully aware that Lana was being wheeled out of the room and it took everything both of them had to not turn back.

At the nursery, they looked through the window and Lex pointed to one of the three occupied bassinets. Each of them were decorated for the holiday with a small stocking. The two on the right were filled will blue blankets – two boys, each born the day before – and, there on the left, a small ball of pink.

Lex pointed to his daughter and the nurse inside smiled. As she moved Lily closer to the window, Martha smiled. "She's beautiful, Lex." She reached up and ran a hand over Lex's bald head. "She takes after you." Lex laughed for a moment before clearing his throat and looking back to his daughter. "What's her name?" Martha asked, smiling again as the nurse returned the baby to her crib.

"Lily Alexandra. Alex insisted she was named after him." Martha squeezed Lex's arm and glanced up as she noticed a doctor moving toward them.

"Mister Luthor," the doctor called. Lex turned and knew he wasn't going to like what the man had to say.

"I'm staying right here with you," she said, squeezing his arm again. Lex gave her a smile and looked back to the doctor.

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss. We have some papers and..." He didn't feel the need to finish; there was never a proper time for this.

"Can't this wait?" Martha asked, but Lex stopped her.

"No. If I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it at all. I need to... tell Alex and..." Lex glanced back to the window then to the doctor. "When can I take my daughter home?"

"We're still waiting for some results, with her early arrival. We'll try and get her home today, under the circumstances." Lex nodded and motioned for the doctor to lead the way.

"Do you need me to-" Martha started, letting go of Lex. He glanced back to Lily and shook his head.

"You'll be here?" he asked. Martha smiled

"Of course." Lex nodded and followed the doctor as Martha turned back to look at Lily. She frowned as Lily began to cry and raised a hand to cover her own mouth as the tears began to fall again.

Alex and Clark were sitting on the couch in the living room, playing a video game, when the phone rang. Jonathan was already in the kitchen, so he got to the phone before Clark. "Kents."

"It's me," Martha said quietly. She'd taken some time to compose herself before calling home.

"Hey, honey. How's Lana?" he asked quietly. Clark looked up, having heard his father's words, then back down to Alex just before his mother responded, so he missed seeing Jonathan's demeanor change.

"Okay... Yes... Of course. Yes... Love you, too." Jonathan hung up the phone and looked at wall. Taking a deep breath, he turned to see Clark staring at him. As discretely as possible, Jonathan shook his head and moved to the sink. Clark stopped breathing for a second and turned to Alex, who'd been calling him.

"What?" he asked with a false smile. Alex pointed to the TV.

"It's your turn, Uncle Clark." Clark nodded and returned to the game, playing the level on auto-pilot as his mind wandered.

Almost three hours later, Martha pushed the door open. Behind her, Lex entered with a newly-awake Lily. Jonathan came over and put an arm around Lex.

"She takes after you," Jonathan said, also making the bald joke. Lex laughed and looked up to Jonathan. "_Anything_ you need, Lex." It was more of a statement than a question. Lex nodded, knowing his family would do everything to help him through this.

"Where's Alex?" Lex asked. A moment later, Alex bounded down the stairs.

"Dad!" He stopped when he saw the sleeping baby and Lex knelt down to Alex's level.

"Alex, this is Lily. Lily... this is your big brother, Alex." Alex just stared at her.

"She's so small." Lex smiled, dreading the conversation he was about to have. Clark came down the stairs and stopped at the sight of his friend. They gave each other a nod and Lex heaved himself back up. Turning to Martha, he slowly held Lily out for her to take.

"Martha..." She took the baby with a smile and gave Lex another nod. He turned back to Alex and held out a hand. "Alex, walk with me." Alex took his father's hand and moved past Martha and Jonathan – who ruffled his hair – as Clark moved into the kitchen. As the door closed behind Lex, Martha passed Lily over to Jonathan and Clark pulled her into a hug.

Lex and Alex crossed the driveway and had passed the barn before either of them spoke. "Dad, is this where I get the 'she's your sister, you're the big brother' talk? 'cause I already got it from Jake's mom..."

"No, Alex. This-" Lex helped Alex climb up the fence surrounding the field and moved next to him. Leaning against the rail, Lex looked out to the cows grazing in the pasture. "-is a different kind of talk."

"Is something wrong?" Lex looked at Alex and Alex looked at the cows. "Grampa's been acting funny since Gramma called." Lex didn't know what to say. _'How do you tell a six-year-old his mother has died?'_ He couldn't remember how his father had put it. However, Lionel was never one for breaking news gently.

"When is Mom coming home?" Lex couldn't answer, let alone look his son in the eye. And Alex didn't need him to say anything. "She's not coming home, is she?" Lex could barely get out a response.

"No." Alex moved down the fence a few inches and leaned into his father. Lex pulled Alex into a hug, pulling him off the fence in the process.

"Is it Lily's fault?" Lex began to cry and hugged Alex tighter.

"No. Mom was sick. Nobody knew... even she didn't know." Lex pulled back from Alex. "But, I think Lily knew. That's why she was early; to make sure we knew."

"Why didn't they make Mom better?"

"They tried. They really tried. But she was more sick than they thought."

"Did she see Lily?" Lex gave him a smile. And pulled Alex close.

"Your mom loved you more than anything and I know she didn't want to leave you. But, she wouldn't want us to..." Alex raised a small hand to his father's cheek.

"We don't cry. We take care of each other and Lily." Lex smiled again as he tried not to cry.

"You're going to be an excellent big brother," Lex stated with a nod and they hugged again.


End file.
